Talking aloud.

Doesn't feel different. Doesn't feel exciting. Feels so normal. Am I getting used to change?

My last few days in Hyderabad didn't feel like the last ones. I don't think I was mentally or emotionally prepared for this next step. Life is running at a high speed and just pulling me along with it. I am not complaining. If I hadn't got this opportunity I would have been. But really, I was not expecting it.

I feel like I'm on vacation. Feel like in a months time will be in Hyderabad again. Even saying goodbye to my friends was strange. I just know it didn't feel like a goodbye.

A new beginning is what motivates me. This is what I live for. A new world.

But as of now, I'm still transitioning. Haven't as yet digested the reality of my rebirth.

July, I'm home again. And this time to stay.

Goodbye yet again! This time with a difference.

xxxSeems like my life is full of goodbyes... or new beginnings. That's what makes it exciting and dynamic - and emotional. My heart doesn't get used to it. One would assume it's easier each time but no. Doesn't get more difficult either. Just that my heart has learnt and now recognizes the ache and deals with it. I get used to the ache, now bitter-sweet .

xxxAnyway, since I am unable and unwilling to cut the umbilical cord to school, I went back (yeah, once more). This time to bid farewell to my teachers. Won't see them for long.

xxxThose of you who haven't been to school for long, the timings have changed. It's 8:20 -14:40 now. So imagine my surprise when I reach there at 8:50 with the intention of attending Assembly (9:00 - 9:20) and don't see any children on the fields. Not one.

xxxI walk in a little rattled. Summer school? It isn't even hot. Holiday? My watch isn't working?

xxxI find out about the change of timings and get really disappointed that I won't be able to attend Assembly. But as it turns out, my luck, Shantatamma takes Assembly on Fridays for the 9th from 9:00 - 9:20! Yippee!

xxxWe sit in the room (no corridor, terrace assembly). She plays some Hindustani music as the children/students walk in. All of them sit quietly. Yes, no chitter-chatter.

xxxShe turns off the music and asks them to identify the instrument - sitar - and the artiste - Ravi Shankar. Once they reply, she's silent and everyone else too.

xxxShe suddenly looks up and says, "We have an old student here with us today." All heads turn to me and I fell a warm burning on my cheeks as all the blood rushes into them. "A.g, why don't you say something about yourself?" I nod, tomato red and cheeks scorching now. She adds, "In fact, why don't you take assembly today?" Not one to miss opportunities or run away from challenges and since I love impromptu action, I get up and walk to the front. Now I resemble a trembling tomato.

xxxWhat shall i say? Will they listen? Are they already making fun of me? They don't relate to me at all. I'm too old a senior. Will my voice shake? If they notice? Why are they staring at me with those small, black, beady, curious eyes.

xxxThings went well though. Made them guess my profession. Not engineering, nor medicine. They did not interest me. Spanish did. Asked them what they knew about Spain and Latin America. We spoke about football, bull fights, Santana and Shakira. I added some literature to it. And one student even knew Isabel Allende.

xxxThen Shantatamma took over. Praised me of course :D

xxxShe said people should realize there are other fields and other professions. I pointed out that I am not the only example. I said, "Look at the teachers around you. They have to deal with you." Got small laughs (very encouraging).

xxxFinally thanked Shantatamma for giving me the opportunity and the students for not making fun of me. A student, after much coercion from Shantatamma, got up and thanked me too.

xxxOn the whole, loved it. Amazing experience, feeling exhilarated. Warm memories of our school days came flooding back.

xxxAfter meeting all the teachers, saying good bye, I left school on cloud nine, grinning away to glory... actually, I haven't stopped grinning as yet.

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P.s Painting by a Japanese artist.